No longer with Palat. Broke off and everything left with memories. I am now with Nas Bogey. Accept the fate and go through everything together. Day by day our love bloom and it shows something that maybe he is serious together. I just hope he would be sincere to be mine. I don't want to be use.
Palat already got a new girlfriend name Iyqaa. Whatever it is i am happy for them and i don't want to interfere their relationship but Iyqaa did. She disturb my life when i never disturb. Why? Hais.
Nevermind. Biar orang buat kita, jangan kita buat orang.
I applied and registered for Woman Seminar (Army). Cannot wait to attend the session. Hehe!
Having this sickness is not easy to go through. I am hurt too for what i actually did. I did my best to remember everything. I did my best to spend time with you. I did my best to love you & most of all i did my best to be like the old us. I can't stop forgetting. Everytime i tried remember everything, even you tested me or question me about where do we first meet and stuffs. I am going through the pain in my head but i don't want to show it. It really hurt me bad, i feel like collapsing but i tried not to. I am sorry if i can't!
But this is what i have to go through.
Sometimes, when i have to go through this.. I cried, i feel depressed. Nobody want to have this sickness. But what can i do, i have gotten my conjecture. I have to pass it, if not i'll give up and all i can do is just be someone crazy. I am sorry once again :'(
You wouldnt know how it feels like! THAT IS WHY YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING YOU LIKE!

AHHHH, fucking fuck up now. Nobody knows how it feels. Korang pun tak kene ape yang aku kene. Sial ah, nak nangis sial. If you guys get what i get, and if this things happen, you will know how i felt. kay bye.
Seriously, i don't know how i can forget where do i live. Seriously! Its like you are not confident enough. The feeling is like you saw someone you know but you don't know if that is her/him. That is how i felt. I feel like scratches on my head, it feels pain last night. I can't sleep. My eyes hurt really bad & my head too. Nak buat ape, kene tahan ajelah. Bhy mengigau yesterday, sumpah kelakar. Udin was disturbing him by saying "Palat...." and i din't expect my bhy to answer back. He answered, "Anje...." K, aku dengan Udin ketawa non-stop. We watched Lagenda Budak Setan 2 then The Son of the Mask. Tak tidur siol sampai bhy balik camp. Sampai rumah baru aku boleh tidur. Bhy suruh hantar long long long long message, aku rasa aku tak hantar. Aku rasa uh. Lupa lagi! Haish, ape nak jadi dengan aku pun aku tak tahu.
Bhy booking out this Friday! Cannot wait :)
Ohya, talking about Futsal, i did not go yesterday. Choa Chu Kang/Woodlands VS Jurong. Yay, kita menang. K, lol. Im having several head pains now.
Sometimes i always wonder, why must i have this sickness to me? Do i need it? No, i don't but why me.. Why not others..
I cannot remember much now. Everytime when i tried to remember, my head goes dizzy and have that migraine pain like yesterday.
I don't want to forget bhy. I never want to. But how i forget my home place, da ibarat kan sekelip mata. I'm hungry. Takde makan ni dekat rumah. Aku tak tahu mana kedai.. I miss my boyfriend much. :( Okay lah, until here..
Well after all, today was okay. I am suppose to pick bhy up from camp but i woke up at 12Afternoon. I actually wake at 10.48am. And i sleep back. I thought i can wake up early. I told myself to wake up like another 15 minutes. LOL, but it failed. After fetching bhy, we drop at Woodlands and walk towards Woodlands Industrial. Then took the bus to home. Im getting sleepy when i'm watching the TV. Due to eating medicine in train. I slept so peacefully and bhy wake me up to follow him play soccer. And i went back home around 6 and out again about 11 going 12mid. I eat at K. Kampong with bhy and Ukasyah. Then i thought of going home. But it changed my mind from going back home. I staying at bhy's house instead. But then my brother told me to go back home & bhy sulked. Hahaha. So i went out the house. While walking, i din't even think about the Christmas Eve. Every public holidays, trains and bus will extend their time. When i already reached Marsiling Primary School, this stupid 912 just dash beside me. And i was like HOW STUPID can i be? Hahaha.
And now i am home. Atlast have someone to accompany me. Udin whatsapp with me. When bhy told me he want to call but he sleep. Nevermind, im trying to understand him. He is tired and his leg is hurt. Hahaha!
Okay lah, that's all for today.
Tomorrow going for futsal at Jurong. Maybe i'm playing......
Ipars, In-laws.....

So woke up at 10am plus when i heard my phone ringing. I dream about the something bad. Another 2nd worst dream, why? I ever prayed to Allah to show me the truth. Is that the truth or not? Complicated state. I dream that i was there but nobody can see me. They were sleeping together and i feel like i am doing nothing there. Their parent's knows about it.. Haish! Aku tak tahu ah. Setiap kali aku fikir. Kepala aku sakit.
Aku kalau boleh tak nak fikir tapi terfikir jugak. Apelah kan.
Dad woke me up again when i fell back asleep. He woke me up like i am in a deep trouble. Irritating much! About 1pm we went out from house and took the train instead of the bus. I don't know lah father aku ni, tak faham ah! Abeh mom and dad sempat gaduh pasal ezlink card. Aku diam ajelah kan. Nak buat ape? Tak boleh buat pape lagi. We reached Pasir Ris then makan terus naik shuttle bus to there.. I feel so sleepy sia. Sampai sana boleh tahan mendak sampai sedara mara aku sampai. Hehehe! Kecoh-ness. We burn the Marshmallows together. Lol. And making jokes. Watch Alvin & the Chipmunk! Cute! I text with bhy. He went out from house at 6.30pm. He send me a long sweet message before he sleep. Sweet kan? But it really terharu nak mampos!
Before going home from chalet, Cik Titi pass me one stick of Gudang Garam! Happy kejap. Haha. And i took the same van as Eefah. Obviously because she stayed with me. I asked Abang Maman if his dad is a CID & if he knows the guy name Hafizzudin. He said that his dad is not a CID but CMB instead.
Sudah terpapang that he is not a CID. Okay lah, until here. I cannot wait later, fetching bhy from Camp!
Today in the morning, i was suppose to meet bhy at his house. But due to waking up late its at 12pm and after. I quickly bath and straight away go to bhy house. Hahaha. At about 4pm we went down and eat together for lunch. Then he have to go Sembawang for washing plates & spoons. So i sat at home, play laptop again. Like no LIFE. Hmm, since bhy went to NS my life is so boring. But what can i do, if i love him i have to wait. Hahaha. When he ORD, i reach 16. So late to get legal. Haish! And he is already 20 years old. People will be thinking that he is pedophile. Oh, NO!
So after that, mom told me to go to Sembawang Close to take kuih from her friend's house. I din't expect that bhy is working at that specific block that i am going. Because i heard him saying 304 instead of 340. But when i reached there, the firasat of me feels that he is there. And somebody is like speaking on ears, making a kompang sound to show me that my bhy is actually there. Its my specialty. Everybody have SPECIALTY.
Then after that i go back home straight. I text Kak Leeza about my father's decision. What can i do? I cannot work with them anymore due to less payment. The standard is actually $40 & above. Haish. But its true, even for 1 Year i have been working with them. I am not satisfy with the payment even though i told everyone that Z&L is still awesome to me no matter what people want to say.
I cannot be leaving them just like that. I am the chosen leader next year. HAISH, life.... ):
Just now, bhy told me he is going to hospital. So i accompany him since he ever accompanied me and waited for me for like 4 hours.
Sayang punya pasal and kesah punya pasal mestilah sanggup pergi. Hehehe.
He is having throat infection. Swollen on the throat. Itulah banyak isap rokok. Minimum and maximum cigarettes to smoke the doctor said is 0. Hahahahahahaha!
And my U-kretek hijau slipped from my pocket. Someone might already took it. Haish :(
Okay lah, until today only. Bye bye <3 p="p">
My bhy booked out today. Super excited and happy. While in the train, Aisyah making me laugh non-stop. I feel like bursting out my laugh in train but people gonna think that i am crazy. Hahaha! After reaching Boon Lay, meet bhy at Tap station. My dress is so long and i can't even walk properly. Mom told me to wear that because i have been wearing jeans as always. Once in a while wear that dress.. I am waiting for my Wave Dress to arrive and i am happy for it. Lol. Tomorrow is Qisthina's Birthday and celebrating Naureen birthday at Aloha Loyang. No overnight.
So it continued.. After meeting bhy, we went to Long John Silver to have our lunch together. I treat him.. But i never finish my food. He storied to me about the camp stuff he did. Sham was being awesome to his Company. I am glad to hear that though.
After that we went to ride our bus and go back to bhy home. Bhy meet Ewan too. He said that Apit is making more nuisance things. I don't know what happen to this stupid idiot brain yang sombeng.
Haish. Gone to 750 and ask about Nisa appearance. She have been running away from house since 2 weeks. The guru said that she will be home during Christmas. She is staying with a guy, but we do not know who. But suspect its Hafi.. I don't know the full name but i know its Hafi___ and there is something behind it.
I cannot work with Z&L anymore because dad doesn't allow me to work. ): The payment is less and he said we have been lied.
I don't know what else i can say. Should listen to him and make him happy. FOR ONCE.
Hahaha, okay. Back to the story..
Its actually a short day with very long hours.
After going to 750, we went to Long John Silver again with Bhy, Ewan, Ukasyah & Bhy's Mummy. She treated us.
Then straight back home <3 p="p">That is all for today, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

IM HUNGRY.
My bhy is worried about me if amnesia strikes me. He said i would leave him when i realise for amnesia. No my dear, i am okay. Just take good care of me. Prevent me from falling and getting hitting on the head directly. I am going to be fine my dear, you are always in my heart no matter what.
But whenever i fall, i just want to tell you that its Anemia. I don't have enough blood. I have too many white blood cells, i need red blood cells to cover up my white cells. I always encounter dizziness which lead me to fall and blur vision. Its really irritating though to have this problem.

I won't leave my bhy alone. He is my everything to me. Nobody can replace him unless he cheat on me and when my feelings fade for that, i will leave him. You can leave me but turning back is hard. You have to try your best to let me trust you. All i knew that my bhy is my last to have. No more ex-es i want. Its been 1 Year 1 Months together now. Haish, if third party exist, i can't afford to loose him. But it already happened to me. I hold his handphone and that bitch whatsapp my bhy saying she miss him and got the last hug last night. And i feel like @!#%$$%#$@&$%#!@#$%#@#$&%&%$#%$#!#!!

I cried like hell and when we settle it at bhy house, everybody is covering her. Kimak, i feel like killing myself. I know that i make bhy stress. I KNOW, stop telling people about my real background. Kalau aku dapat tahu ni semua sepakat. Haish. I don't know lah, she is lying to me. Saying my bhy whatsapp her Where you and she said that. I know bhy got delete her whatsapp. AHHHH, i cannot stop thinking. It burst my brain out! :(

Okaylah, will update more soon..

Visit www.malay-stories.blogspot.sg for MALAYCERITA. I am doing a novel there. Read and support!
Its disaster if your special day become worst. Example your birthday & someone ruin it. Feel what i feel but it is not about my birthday. It is about my Anniversary day. Which is together of 1 Year 1 Month (13 Months). But everything was ruined when i told him about my health.
Yes, i went to the doctor yesterday night & doctor suspect i am having anemia. Which means not enough blood. More to white cells, can die. And also suspect of jaundice. Not funny eh, and doctor also suspect that i will be getting
Amnesia because of my short-term memory & also retrograde amnesia.After i told bhy about this, he asked for break up & when i called him, sms. He did not answered nor reply.
I feel so fuck up yesterday & i cannot sleep until 4 in morning. Bhy called me in a sudden & i answered. I feel relieved. Hearing his calm & smooth voice makes me easy as to think.
Doctor gave two medicine to eat, one is for dizziness & one is for stress (nerves)
I was suppose to take blood, but i am scared. Imagine that needle went into your arms....
OMG, aku tak boleh angkat siol! The doctor force me to take but i don't want...

Haish. Well, i just hope bhy is not lying to me about this.. I really hope so!

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